So, you’re an organic vegetable, what makes you so special?
I’m the vegetable equivalent of an Olympic athlete. Grown on a pure diet, in optimal conditions. I’m worth more than your average vegetable and I perform better.
Wow, that’s a big claim. Can you prove it?
Prove it? Of course I can! Well, not really, but plenty of people have tried.
I’ve heard of Olympians using performance enhancers, you’re not one of those athletes are you?
No way, I’m as natural as can be. I’m free of the pesticides and chemicals found in other produce because I’m grown all natural, the way farmers did it way back before industrialisation and genetic modifying.
Pesticides and genetic modifying haven’t killed me yet, why should I eat organic?
Trust me, you’ll feel better. Plenty of organic converts say their skin is brighter, their allergy symptoms have lessened, they feel healthier and have more energy. Plus, you can brag about it.
I can brag about my vegetables?
Don’t you read any of the tabloids? Everybody is talking about what they’re eating (or not eating), what other people are eating (or not eating). Get on the organic bandwagon and you’ll be part of a very exclusive club.
Oh, exclusive means expensive.
Not at all, in the UK I’m very affordable. I’ll add just a few extra pounds to your weekly shop.
I already eat plenty of “natural” food, isn’t it that same as “organic”?
I’m insulted. Anyone can call a product “natural” but to be “organic” you have to be grown according to strict standards. I told you, it’s an exclusive club.
Ok, I’m convinced. Where do I start?
Excellent, grab your reusable shopping bag and head to your nearest supermarket. There are organic alternatives to plenty of your favourite fruit and veg as well as meat, fish, eggs, pasta and dairy. There are tonnes of speciality stores around or you can buy organic from your local street market.
Hm, if organic food is everywhere it can’t be very “exclusive.”
(Sigh) This is a health movement, it takes a lot of people buying these products to keep them so readily available on the shelves. Now, do you want to eat organic or do you want to have your visa cancelled?
Sorry, forget I doubted you.
That’s ok, your brain is probably so riddled with harmful chemicals you can’t think straight. You should probably go on a detox — an organic carrot will help with that. Here, try this one…
(Munch, munch, munch)
Exactly! No pesticides or chemicals. Delicious, isn’t it?
Tastes like a carrot.
Just like a carrot should.