Australia is big, bold, beautiful and absolutely terrifying. You need to have nerves of steel and keep your wits about you if you want to survive Down Under. Here’s why:
1: Australia has spiders the size of your bloody hand!
2: We have politicians in big hats, that smile even though they’re cranky
3: Extremely aggressive drop bears are always hunting for human prey
*Tips for deterring drop bear attacks – Do one or more of the following: placing forks in the hair, spread Vegemite behind the ears, urinating on oneself, only speaking English in an Australian accent.
4: Deep down, we all have at least a little bit of this in us
5: Stuff can be stupidly expensive
6: Our snow is freaking HUGE
7: These sun bake in the backyard…
8: …and then eat crocodiles for lunch…
9: …and after, they leave their dirty clothes all over the house
10: Tony Abbott (still)