C’MON my fellow Aussies, this Australia Day let’s Aussify London town. Let’s show these Brits just how patriotic we can be.
This Australia Day I urge you to jump on the Tube in your best Aussie way.
Let’s wear our thongs and put on our zinc. Let’s show them how to ride the waves as we tube surf.
Grab your Wallabies jersey and put on your Speedos.
Get chatting to someone, say G’day. Tell them about Alf Stewart and how you know Crocodile Dundee.
Tell them you’re on your way to woop woop via Wagga Wagga. Cut it short and just say Wagga.
Make sure you shorten their name, the more you shorten it — the more you like them.
When squeezing past the millions of people getting on the tube make sure to say ‘scuse me.
Abbreviate your words on the tube-o. Yeah mate, just going to the servo this arvo on my smoko.
Rip out the Aeroguard and spray the whole carriage. Grab a Sheila and sing her Waltzing Matilda. Don’t forget to show her your Southern Cross tattoo.
Start eating your vegemite and share your lamingtons and meat pie.
Tell them you’re going to have a BBQ with prawns not shrimp, followed by a few VBs.
Tell them how fast your Commodore is compared to the tube and how you drive it wearing your stubbies and cork hat.
Deck the Tube out with Aussie flags and get everyone on there chanting with you.
“Aussie Aussie Aussie
“OI OI OI”.
Let’s sprinkle sand along the tube and use lifesavers flags to alert people to mind the gap.
Teach someone the second verse of Advance Australia Fair.
Whichever tube line you’re on this Australia Day, just remember to be true blue.
Ooroo!