WE’VE all heeded Julia Gillard’s warning of the impending apocalypse. We’ve ignored NASA scientists who say a giant planet called Nibiru is not actually heading for Earth, spelling the catastrophic end of civilization as we know it. What do they know after all, they’re only scientists.
Come 21 December 2012 and we’re prepared for fiery solar storms, the Earth spinning off its axis when its magnetic field reverses, and a rampage of “flesh eating zombies” and “demonic hell-beasts”.
In the meantime however, there is still time amongst stocking up on three-for-£1 baked beans from Poundland and building a bunker to throw Earth one hell of a goodbye party. Let’s face it, she deserves it – she’s put up with a lot.
End-of-the world parties are now, in the short time we have left, the social activity du-jour. Host your own or save what precious time you have left on this earth and join in one of the ones we’ve sourced for you below.
Here’s our pick of London’s best apocalyptic, end-of-the world, live for tonight because there will be no tomorrow, ta-ta civilization as we know it parties and events:
For one night abandon all hope and live like it’s your last night on earth.
Set in the amazing location of The Village Underground, Shoreditch expect four show stopping acts, DJs and music until the wee hours.
A percentage of each ticket and all profits will go to charity: University College London Hospital’s neonatal care whose wonderful staff save babies’ lives every day.
Line up:
The Murder Barn, 
Marmaduke Dando
, This Is Laura
, Gorgeous George
Where: Village Underground, 54 Holywell Lane, Shoreditch, London , EC2A 3PQ
When: 10pm 21 December 2012
Tickets: £8 from www.fatsoma.com
Why not head out laughing on your last night on earth? Brian Cox and Robin Ince are putting on a special End of the World show at Hammersmith Apollo this 21 December 2012.
Following their hugely successful ‘Uncaged Monkeys’ tours, Professor Brian Cox and comedian Robin Ince – co-hosts of Radio 4’s ‘Infinite Monkey Cage’ – are bringing together an array of scientific minds, stand-ups and musicians for a one final blow-out before the inevitable end of our civilization.
Where: Hammersmith Apollo, 45 Queen Caroline Street, London W6 9QH
When: 7pm 21 December 2012
Tickets: £25-£40 from www.hammersmithapollo.com
John Martin (1789-1854) was a controversial but key figure in nineteenth century art, well known for his wildly dramatic scenes of biblical disaster and apocalyptic destruction.
Although hugely popular at his time, he was derided by the Victorian Art establishment as a ‘people’s painter’ who considered his depictions of judgment and damnation to be distasteful.
The exhibition at the Tate Britain is the first major exhibition dedicated to Martin’s work in over 30 years, bringing together his most famous scenes of death, hell and fiery ends from collections around the world, as well as previously unseen and newly-restored works.
Where: Tate Britain, Millbank, London SW1P 4RG
When: Until 15 January 2012
Tickets: £14 from www.tate.org.uk
What’s the saying? There’s nothing a cup of tea and a bickie won’t fix. Except if the world is ending. In which case, put down the hob-knobs, and treat your taste-buds to something truly spectacular as a last hurrah.
From the creative minds of the Young British Foodie Award Winners Platterform, and The Halo Group creative agency, comes the pop-up project The Last Supper Club at The Yard in Shoreditch.
Indulge in the Ark experience, which draws inspiration from historic flavour pairings and traditions, prophecy and forecasts of doom born of popular culture, to create a special doomsday three course menu for £35 per head.
Alternatively street food vendors offer more budget friendly Mayan inspired delicacies, historic Middle Eastern treats as well as Dooms Day diner snacks from the house smoker grill.
With a Doom Bar also serving specialty cocktails until 2am, The Last Supper Club will ensure the countdown to the apocalypse is one to remember
Where: The Yard, 89 Worship Street, London EC2A 2BF
When: Until Saturday 22 December
Cost: £35 for the Ark experience, or various prices for alternative street-vendor menus. See lastsupperclub.co.uk for more details
(Top Image: Sony Pictures)