For all you hipsters denying that you’re hipsters out there, this is for you. Or, if you hang out with one or two members of the species, you can probably relate.
From Sydney to London, if you walk down any side street (main streets and high roads are so too mainstream) you’re sure to chance upon one of them, and maybe, just maybe, you will spot them performing a hipster crime…
These. These are the worst possible stunts a true hipster could pull.
Murder in the 2nd degree (someone else heard of murder first) #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Ryan Syrek (@thereaderfilm) May 12, 2015
Feeding ducks bread that isn’t gluten-free #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) May 12, 2015
Riding a practical bicycle #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) May 12, 2015
Eating a non-Artisanal Pickle #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— The Ranting Recluse (@RantingRecluse) May 12, 2015
Skinny jeanocide #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— @midnight (@midnight) May 12, 2015
Grand Theft Autotune @midnight #hipstercrimes — Jason Bice (@jasonbice15) May 12, 2015
Knit and Run #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Matt DeCample (@DeCample) May 12, 2015
Assault and Hattery #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— BaeWatch (@JobModeSD) May 12, 2015
Clothing laundering #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Pretty When I Lie (@djinnaminx) May 12, 2015
Armed Snobbery #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Tara Helena (@TaraHelenaTweet) May 12, 2015
Contributing to the mainstreaming of a minor #HipsterCrimes @midnight — joshingstern (@joshingstern) May 12, 2015
Looking more homeless than an actual homeless person. #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Queen Twatwaffle (@SinCityChiGirl) May 12, 2015
Not having tried at least 6 different types of beards #HipsterCrimes @midnight pic.twitter.com/977T1IkJK3
— Marv Hayes (@Marv_Hayes) May 12, 2015
Egging someone’s car — with free-range, cage-free brown organic eggs #HipsterCrimes @midnight — lancegould (@lancegould) May 12, 2015
Saying music’s worse on vinyl #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) May 12, 2015
You’ve probably never heard of the crime they committed. #hipstercrimes
— Jim (@AnxietyMisfit) May 12, 2015
Driving with a suspendered license #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Matt Coley (@mattjcoley) May 12, 2015
“finishing” before she does because you want to say you did it first. #HipsterCrimes @midnight — that Ronen guy (@BadRonen) May 12, 2015
Actually knowing the band on your vintage t-shirt @midnight #HipsterCrimes — Angela Cobb (@angelacobb) May 12, 2015
Illegally parking your velocipede on the sidewalk outside the Apple Store. #HipsterCrimes @midnight pic.twitter.com/vo4fAdxjXv
— Queen Twatwaffle (@SinCityChiGirl) May 12, 2015
Wearing a leather jacket to a vegan restaurant. #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Portmanteau Jones (@SadlyCatless) May 12, 2015
Talking about Hipster Club #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Bill the Butcher (@NotBTB) May 12, 2015
Claiming to support independent musicians and then illegally downloading all of their music #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Jared Montana (@Jarmadillos) May 12, 2015
Riding a bicycle in the unicycle lane #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Jordan_Morris (@Jordan_Morris) May 12, 2015
Not moving your iPhone aside while pulling out your hipster retro typewriter. #HipsterCrimes pic.twitter.com/CNGPWf5Yrj
— Dr. Phil’s Nuts (@DrPhilsNuts) May 12, 2015
Not being as thin as your girlfriend. #HipsterCrimes @midnight — Carlos Rodriguez (@CarlosComedy) May 12, 2015
Drinking any beer that has been in a TV commercial. #HipsterCrimes @Midnight — Josh Denny (@JoshDenny) May 12, 2015
Photo by Twitter.com