CAN I get in? Move down a little! Oooh, watch your hands.
No it’s not another erotic scene from 50 Shades – just some of the things I’ve overheard on the underground.
Whether it’s people talking to themselves or having what they think is a quiet conversation with the friend they have just bumped into, the Tube is gossip central.
I wouldn’t say I eavesdrop, I would much rather say I am interviewing them without their knowledge – modern technology. So thank you all for your contribution to this week’s edition of Tube Talk!
Take for example, this morning I heard a bunch of young ladies discussing the fact that the Northern Line has to be one of the pushiest lines…That was after they were shoved further into the carriage by people who were more than eager to get to work.
Immediately I got my back up and wanted to defend my cherished companion and justify how good of a line he has been to me.
And then the other day, I heard some people discussing their commute to work and one of the ladies said disturbingly: “It’s London let’s face it! No-one’s going to help you! Just wait till the Olympics – we are not going to be the sardines in the can but also turn into the gelatin that surrounds them.”
Often the languages vary and I try and guess what they might be saying.
Are they discussing the nostril hair they can see poking out to say hello from the man they are sandwiched up against? Are they innocently talking about where they are heading? Or are they looking at me and wondering why the hell I am trying to understand what it is they are discussing.
My personal favourite is when I hear two people get into an argument and everyone wants to listen in but they’re too afraid to look over or get involved. Usually it is about personal space. In fact I was once a victim of this.
I am a newbie to London, only six months in but have history with Mr. Tube, so I know how to take him. My friend on the other hand who was accompanying me on a trip back down the Northern Line, not so much…
After jumping on the Tube and finding a spot to stand and continue our riveting conversation we were told that we were standing too close so we shuffled away avoiding a confrontation. Our fellow commuter happened to sneeze, and as well mannered Sydney Gals, we turned to say bless you but were instantly attacked.
“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? DON’T YOU SNEEZE??” I won’t go into what else he said to us or what names we were called. Just use your imagination.
Lesson learnt…
Sharing a laugh with complete stranger on the Tube has to be one of life’s greatest treasures. Especially when you are laughing at another complete stranger’s conversation. Three private parties but all entwined in the same words. JUST EXHILARATING!
So the next time you’re having a chat on the Tube, watch what you say. You never know who is listening!
