By Bon8
As the last of the leaves hit the deck we are about to truly head into w-w-winter (and yeh, it is getting easier for me to say). Perhaps it’s the darkness that I am actually enjoying as it helps mask my extremely poor fashion sense. My wife would rather I walk 10 paces behind when we go shopping as I am a thongs and shorts bloke, work boots and Stubbies. I have always dressed fit for purpose – that is until I moved to the UK.
Shorts don’t really cut the mustard over here when the cold starts to bite and singlets seem to be a badge of honour for pensioners only. They will never get my singlets! Let ‘em try. So how the bloody hell do ya get around this seemingly unsolvable fashion problem. Well it came to me in a charity shop. I am always on the look-out for a loud shirt as they seem to disappear from my wardrobe as quickly as I replace them. But on this particular day it was a scarf that caught my eye. Just a scarf. Black. Simple. Or you would think so but the other day as I headed off to work my wife commented, “you look posh today”. It was the scarf. I was magically transformed from a bogan to a fashionista by merely tying a scarf around my previously frost bitten neck. Not only that, I found that I can wear it around the office in place of a tie! The office noose has to be the dumbest thing ever invented. The scarf on the other hand is luxury without the price tag. It was the best 50 pence I’ve spent in a while. Chuck on some jeans, t-shirt, jacket and then the scarf wow – you can still wear the thongs if you dare.
Don’t ask me how you decide what scarf to get, as they come in all lengths, widths and colors. Different strokes for different blokes, I guess. And that’s not the end of it, you can use it to take the shine off your mate’s bald head, mop up spilt beer on a table or just clean up the chunder of ya chin. It can be used as a bandage when you knock some bark off, to tie down the Christmas tree on the roof racks, even tie up the kids, dry the dishes and of course – vampires hate them. The uses are endless so I actually hope I get another one for Christmas, although I’m not sure I would be able to wear anything but black. Any other colour and I’ll start looking like a flammin’ peacock. So I reckon a scarf is doable without betraying any deep seated Aussie beliefs or customs. And the best thing is of course – “Happy wife, Happy life”!
