I CAN’T believe how quickly 2011 has gone by. It seems like only a few days ago I was ringing in the New Year and promising myself that I would start pursuing my ultimate career as professional surfer/part time sandcastle builder. Living in London for the past 12 months has meant little progress towards those resolutions but I’m not going to make the same mistakes again. I’m going to have the best New Year’s resolution ever! Hold on, the countdown is about to start. Here we go, my 2012 New Year’s resolution is … bloody hell, where to start?
10…Probably should set myself something tangible that I can measure by the end of the year. Have a better job? What does a better job mean? More money? More responsibility? Cause I don’t want more money if it means more responsibility. I want more money but less responsibility, what job is going to give me that?
9…Hold on, what about my friends and family? Shouldn’t I be resolving to do something for them as well? Crap, I struggle to buy them birthday and Christmas presents let alone resolve to do something for a whole year which will benefit them. What if I try and get all of them better jobs?
8…Maybe I should focus on me and just aim to be all that I can be… WAIT!!! That’s a bloody ad! Who’s ad was that? I think it was for the army wasn’t it? My New Year’s resolution can’t be an army recruitment slogan because I have zero intention of joining the army regardless of how much khaki brings out my eyes.
7…If I was going to go with an advertising slogan as a resolution it would be for something cooler than the army. “Just do it” – too corporate, “Yes we can” — too presidential, “Got Milk?” — too dairy. Okay lets move on from the slogans, these aren’t working.
6…Crap why am I worrying about this when in 5 seconds I’ve got to give someone a New Year’s kiss and at the moment I’m standing next to my male cousin and the family Labrador.
5…Ok, concentrate. It needs to be something broad but specific, selfless but personalised, measurable but all encompassing… World Peace?
4…Snap out of it, right New Year’s resolution for 2012…. Damn it I can’t get that bloody army song out of my head!
3…Awww bugger it, this is too bloody difficult… I’m just going to tell anyone who asks that I don’t have any New Year’s resolutions cause I live each day like its my last. Then everyone will know what a genuine dropkick I am.
2…Aha…I’ve got it
1…My 2012 New Year’s resolution is to evaluate my life so that I will have a clear defined resolution for 2013 and won’t have to waste the last ten seconds of the year having this ridiculous conversation in my head.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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