THIS week’s postcard from Jimeoin asks why Aussies keep coming to do London and he’s sure it’s got something to do with Monopoly.
I live in Australia now and I like it because I grew up in Ireland.
If I had grown up in Australia I’d probably be living in Ireland now.
Some people aren’t very nationalistic and I’m probably one of them. It also might have something to do with being a Catholic from Northern Ireland. I will definitely be going for Australia in the World Cup. Although having seen them play against NZ in a friendly the other night I don’t really fancy their chances. I’m hardly going to go for Ireland — mostly because they’re not in it.
I don’t really know why so many Australian people end up in London, but Monopoly might have something to do with it. People think they’re going to be living on the Monopoly Board.
In fact, where you were sitting on the ground when you played Monopoly as a kid is probably where you end up when you live in London. I’m going to create my on Monopoly Board — which is just a Monopoly Board surrounded by a Scaletrix set which represents the M25… and you sit in between them. By the way, it’s called Monopoly because Monopoly have a Monopoly on Monopoly. And the only way to destroy the Monopoly is to call it Monopoly…. There’s no money in my Monopoly game — there’s just questions.
Like: “What am I doing here?”, and: “How come when it rains all the time there’s still no decent water pressure?”
And “Why do they put a little plastic basin inside the sink? You don’t put a plastic basin inside the bath that’s just the same size as the bath….”
My other reality TV show is about 30 Australians living in a flat in Earls Court, just trying to make a living. It has endurance tests such as drinking warm beer and eating Brit food that gives you a fat arse…. It’s called “I’m an Australian, Get Me Out of Here!”
Anyway, I’m in London to do a few shows at the Purple Cow on Southbank and it should be a good laugh. They even have a bar that sells cold beer so grab your mates, roll your Monopoly dice and come along.
Look out for further installments from Jimeoin’s tour diary in the weeks leading up to Udderbelly. Jimeoin returns to the Southbank Centre’s Udderbelly this summer for six shows, called ‘Eye Brows’ from July 9 – 18.
Read more of Jimeoin’s postcards, exclusive to Australian Times