Ahead of appearances at Southbank’s Udderbelly, Jimeoin sends Australian Times readers a message from home.
I recently learned that from Broome to Byron Bay is the same distance as going one side of the moon to the other.
On a recent tour in Australia, we drove from Albany to Broome. I’ve never experienced so much of nothing. Nothing except a lot of dead kangaroos by the side of the road – I think that’s where they go to die. Also plenty of crows picking at the dead kangaroos — that is until you drive by and then they pretend they aren’t picking at anything.
We stopped at loads of good fishing spots. The fish everyone wants to catch is the barramundi. They are all born male, by the way, and after five years they all turn female which I thought I might have got a whole lot of jokes on as a subject matter but I heard about that five years ago and I still haven’t thought of one yet… it’s a great fact though.
I got bitten by a crocodile on my last trip — admittedly I was helping it out of its’ half-hatched egg when it bit me as it snuggled into the palm of my hand. Still, I’ve been bitten by a croc as far as I’m concerned. And it’s gonna get made into a handbag so we’re quits. Did you hear about the handbag made out a crocodile’s foreskin? You rub it and it turns into a suitcase.
I actually met a guy that got taken by a crocodile. We went fishing in the Mary River estuary and camped out on the boat. We took all the supplies and stove with us and were planning to eat the fish that we caught. Because we didn’t have a lot of room on the boat we had a bottle of whisky with us and just six beers.
We met these guys who were mud crab catchers and who were re-setting their pots after emptying their latest catch. We offered them $20 for a mud crab. They saw the six beers sitting in the boat and said “Give us the six beers and we’ll give you two mud crabs.” We said “No – we’ve only got six beers. We’ll give you two beers and $20.” They said “six beers.” We said “two beers.” They said “six beers or forget it.” We said “Forget it.”
Anyway, we drove off in our boat, they set their pots, and then they drove off in theirs. But we were anchoring out there overnight so we just went back later, lifted their pots and took out two mud crabs and stuck in two beers. Anyway, later that year, the guy who set the pots was taken by a crocodile.
Read more of Jimeoin’s postcards, exclusive to Australian Times