Beer battles: Aussie vs UK
SUBCULTURE SLEUTH | When deciding who loves a cold beer more, Poms or Aussies, our sleuth discovers we’re pulling the pints on this one.
A thought struck me yesterday as I sat in a local bar nursing a pint of lukewarm Belgian beer that chilled me to the bone more than a dip in the Thames at the height of January.
Australians love a good beer. As such, with the legendary British pub culture, and a boozer on every corner, you would imagine that the pub in London would be a place where Aussies and Poms alike could gather and bond over our mutual love of a cold beverage.
I have been in social situations with a pretty wide range of British people since coming to London, from chavs and hipsters to the rich and (semi)famous. A lot of those situations have been in pubs, and has revealed the shocking secret lingering beneath the surface of British society: no matter what subculture they belong to, Poms just don’t like a beer as much as an Aussie.
“Wait, they spend half of their life in the pub!” I hear you shout, and you are right. But – listen to what they order.
A posh boy will wander up to the counter of a City bar: “Alright mate? What is your house wine? Oh, really? Nothing French?”
A tracksuit-wearing lad steps into a local boozer in Bermondsey: “Ay bruv, you got three pints of cider and keep ‘em coming, innit?”
A hipster walks into the latest obscure Shoreditch venue: “Can I have a cold chai latte? Alcohol is so mainstream.”
I am not saying the Brits do not drink beer. There are still some true believers left. I salute the old geezers at Wetherspoons pubs across the city, who unfailingly have three empty pints of bitter sitting on their table when I venture down for a cheap breakfast at 10am.
In many ways I have gone native since coming to London. My speech pattern has changed, I have a rough twang in my voice and my skin has gone predictably pale. When it comes to beer, however, I will always call Australia home. If only the Poms could pour a pint properly.