Predictability is the AFL’s big mac-daddy

With Will Denton
Hungry Jacks Pty Ltd avoided going into administration on the weekend by the skin of their thickshakes, as the unpredictability of the AFL finally got predictable. Well, nearly. Ok in short, most of the big footy tipping comps around the nation have done a deal with HJ’s, that if you somehow manage to correctly tip all 9 winners that week, then you are entitled to a free whopper. And it’s not as easy as it seems (as we all know). Until this week! And if it wasn’t for the Kangaroos turning up to play properly (that’s two weeks in a row now), we would be asking Indonesia if we can have a couple hundred thousand head of cattle back.

Everything was going to plan, and every match throughout the weekend was either a smashing, or a complete smashing by the favourite. Hawks looked slick and concise in their demolition of the Blues who are looking more and more like a team that don’t really like footy anymore. Luckily for them, they’ve only got the Pies this Friday night, who did just enough in second gear to overcome Freo – a team that are still trying to win a game without actually scoring. As a side note to this match, Eddie Mcguire says he will declare war on everyone starting with the Dockers if they manage to lure Travis Cloke to the port city for a sea container load of cash. How about declaring war on something useful Eddie? Like a ‘War on tinnitus’ or a ‘War on Dub Step’? (I think the two may be linked).

In other news, Gold Coast are being investigated by the Feds for fraud, after the Suns declared they are in fact a football team. Another team doing a bit of masquerading are the Bulldogs who would be lucky to get three numbers and a sup at this rate. The Crows played a little gag on their fans when it looked like they were going to get rolled by the Tigers. “As if,” was one response by Adelaide coach Brenton Sanderson, if he ever thought the match was in danger. “Pffft,” was another. The Giants did some of their best witches hat impersonation work for the year in their massive defeat against Sydney, although Sheeds claimed “it was the loss we had to have”. Port were a bit better but not much down in Geelong, although even Bear Grylls might have struggled with the conditions. And the Roos turned up – and turned down a nation’s worth of free Whoppers! Bloody Boomer.