Shape of Australia found in ‘miracle’ bread

Here at Australian Times, we’ve always been a little sceptical of so-called ‘miracles’, which would ordinarily include an assertion of the shape of Australia manifesting in your morning slice of toast. Claims that the Virgin Mary has appeared by a post on the Bondi to Bronte headland walk, visions of the late Princess Diana etched into the bark of a gum tree, Jesus in your bread; they are usually assessed with the requisite objective journalistic rigour and found lacking.

Now we may just be the most recent converts to ‘simulacra’ – the perception of religious or spiritual imagery in natural phenomena – after this great Australian bite appeared in all its doughy glory to an astonished Aussie Times reader.

As Australian Times can reveal in this exclusive, it was an otherwise ordinary Monday when Bernadette Cronin headed to the E5 Bakehouse in London to buy her weekly loaf of sourdough bread. Looking forward to her morning cuppa, accompanied by a thick slice of toast, Bernadette cut into the seemingly benign block only to reveal this tip top shape of Australia staring back at her.

“I was shocked. I just bought a normal looking loaf. But after I sliced into it, there was my homeland staring right back at me.”

It was all there, from the gentle bulging contours of the Western Australian coastline, to the spiky tip of Cape York Peninsula and the rugged southern coast. All that was missing was a breakaway crust of Tasmania, as if the baker himself sympathised with local separatist movements and had indulged them by excising the state from his loaf.

So what could this holey message in dough mean? Is it the soul of Down Under reaching out to us expatriates, calling us back home in a crusty slice of Australiana?

Tell us your thoughts.