The glory of Glastonbury

“Is Glastonbury the greatest party in the world?“

This was the question asked by Elbow frontman, Guy Garvey, to a buoyant crowd at the Pyramid stage on Saturday night during arguably the biggest festival in the world. After losing my Glasto virginity this year, I would be tempted to reply in the affirmative. However, that does all depend on your views on personal hygiene. It is funny what human beings can withstand. After days on end of knee-deep mud, festering portaloos, baby wipe showers, wellie-induced pain, mud-covered clothing and the pain of carrying 20 kilograms of camping gear and booze through mountains of mud, to your campsite, you can still look back and consider it all as some of the best times of your life.

I have to admit Glastonbury was an overwhelming prospect for this Australian. Glastonbury takes up a site of 900 acres, encompassing 55 stages, showing more than 700 acts and more than 175,000 ticketholders. Ah, no big deal – that’s just a mere 29 times the size of the Meredith Music Festival, my favourite Australian fest, and just seven times the size of Traralgon, my hometown in country Victoria. But the quality of the line-up and the atmosphere is like no other.

Wednesday and Thursday were spent taking it reasonably easy – settling in, getting my bearings and exploring the areas I wouldn’t see much of once the big acts rolled out. Friday was when the real fun began and my schedule kicked off with the superb UK electronic act Metronomy at midday. They were followed by Northern Irish act Two-Door Cinema Club who bagged one of the largest crowds of the day as the grey clouds rolled in and the rain came along and didn’t relent for the rest of the day, just to keep the mud around for a while longer. Wu-Tang Clan were a lot of chant-along fun, and after catching a bit of the divine-sounding Fleet Foxes at The Other Stage, it was off to see Radiohead – the surprise secret act at The Park stage that evening. I’m not sure why I bothered though, as there were simply too many people to see anything substantial, and what I heard of it wasn’t really that fantastic. Additionally, I had missed Morrissey to see them – perhaps one of my biggest Glasto regrets.

U2 were that night’s headliner at the Pyramid stage. I crammed into the right-hand section of the stage with many other fans as the rain poured down. The band sounded amazing – especially the distinct ambient guitar from The Edge (who seemingly hasn’t aged in 20 years). It was a powerful performance, but having seen U2 at the Sydney Olympic Stadium five years earlier, this performance paled in comparison. Their playlist was reasonably predictable, featuring all the crowd favourites from the 1980s to now. Pride, I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and the first encore With or Without You were all memorable points and will be talked about at many Glastonburies to come.

Saturday was another mad mudfest – but it remained dry from midday onwards. The psychedelic rockers from Perth, Tame Impala, opened proceedings with a reasonably chilled set at the Pyramid stage and drew a modest but decent crowd considering the timeslot and the fact they are only just getting established in London (having made their UK sellout debut at Shoreditch last August). They clashed with NZ electronic act Phoenix Foundation, who are also making a big splash with their album Buffalo and are not set to quieten down with a number of performances scheduled at European festivals this summer, including Lovebox in London.

The sun came out for Graham Coxon who played a swag of Britpop-flavoured favourites at The Park stage; US act The Kills rocked out at The Other Stage with lead singer Alison Mosshart leaping around onstage with all the zest and vigour of Iggy Pop; but one of the highlights of the day was Pulp. I watched Jarvis Cocker cavort about onstage from the grassy hill of The Park arena with a Pimms in hand as the sun set to Common People. But the band that really claimed the day was Coldplay. I can’t say I’ve ever been a big fan but their performance absolutely blew me away – one of the most epic performances I’ve seen. They had all the rockbiz gimmicks: fireworks, lasers, confetti, and balloons; but it was the powerful riffs and singalong melodies that carried the night, lifting spirits so high not even mud could bog them down.

Aptly, on Sunday, the grey clouds were nowhere to be found as campers broke out their summer gear and basked in the sunshine for another day of big acts. The shy but ever-enchanting Laura Marling started her set on the Pyramid stage by describing it as one of the “weirdest moments of her life” and clearly nervous, appeared lost for words between songs. However this certainly wasn’t reflected in her flawless performance. At this point in the afternoon you could barely move in the Pyramid arena, with both sides of the stage bottleknecked with people coming in and out for Paul Simon’s performance.

Simon, clad head to toe in black on this sizzling day, announced early on that he had a throat infection “so if I’m not at the top of my game, that’s the reason.” He pulled out the hits like 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes and Bubble Boy, then left the stage early as the crowd stood there bewildered and confused. Luckily it was a false alarm and he came back for an encore to deliver You Can Call Me Al which had everyone – young and old – singing and dancing along.

TV on the Radio over at the Other Stage appeared in much livelier spirits than when I saw them at Melbourne Big Day Out in 2009 and their performance was a lot less flat – particularly with a finisher like the Ghostbusters theme song. Very cool.

Plan B drew a much younger crowd and delivered the goods, pulling out every trick in the bag including a beatbox version of Stand By Me and Kiss From A Rose, and jumping between hip hop, R&B, rap and pop, I was left wondering: is there anything frontman Benjamin Paul Ballance-Drew can’t do?

Beyonce was running on “diva time”, arriving on the stage about 15 minutes late but she made it worth the wait, ending the festival with a bootylicious bang. I was disappointed by her lack of wardrobe changes but incredibly impressed by her ability to sing and dance at the same time (a rare feat for most modern pop stars) and scale the Pyramid stage in teetering heels.

But the night wasn’t over for me; Sunday night was spent dancing my gumboots off in Arcadia and Shangri-Las – two areas in the south-east of Glastonbury that have become incredibly popular over the last few years. I can see why too – a giant robotic spider with a DJ inside, surrounded by ravers makes up Arcadia while a city of makeshift nightclubs each with their own crazy theme is Shangri-Las.

I survived my first Glastonbury (more than I can say for some) and would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Bring on 2013!

Also see: MUSIC FESTIVALS GUIDE HOMEPAGE