16 hilariously inappropriate things kids have said
“When we told my daughter about sex, she had a lot of questions and it came up that her daddy and I have sex. Her follow up question was, ‘Ohh can I watch sometime?’” WHAT?!
What is the most inappropriate thing your kid has ever said? Buzzfeed did a little roundup of all the answers to this question and some of the most hilarious stories came from it.
1. After my son learned what made boys and girls different, he started introducing himself to random people thus: “Hi, I’m John, and I do NOT have a vagina.” – meaghanb44815185c
2. Last night getting ready for bed my youngest says “I’ve been waiting for this moment. I’m gonna scratch my penis.” – Twitter.com/CMYKilla22
3. Their homework can be entertaining as hell.
4.“The cashier at a grocery store was telling my daughter how cute and well behaved she was. My daughter responded, ‘Mommy said we can’t talk to people with bad eyebrows.’” – a4ff63233f
5.“Today my 4-year-old called her stuffed giraffe a ‘cute little bitch.’” – r47fb6647a
6.“My 3-year-old daughter said, ‘Mommy, I need some cock ’n’ balls’. After a lifetime of stunned silence, I finally asked, ‘What…do you mean?’ She looked at me like I was the asshole in the situation and said, ‘COCK’N BALLS. You know, those white balls you put in your ears?’” – andreak492692f45
7.“When I was a kid, I dressed up as Flower from Bambi for Halloween and a woman asked what I was supposed to be. Apparently I couldn’t say ‘skunk’ quite right and proudly told her I was a ‘cunt.’” – erindeyoe
8. “I was in the grocery store, and my 5-year-old son wouldn’t quit grabbing at the front of his shorts, even after I told him to stop. Finally I said, ‘Dude, quit grabbing your penis!’
He replied, ‘It’s not my penis, Mommy, it’s a kitty cat’. He then let out a quiet but distinct ‘MEEEOW!’, stopped, stretched out the waistband of his shorts, looked down at his crotch, and said, ‘Shh! Be quiet!’ To this day, I have no idea what that was about.” – kariannh4477db195
9.“After checking out at the grocery store, my 3-year-old turned around to the man behind us and said, ‘I’m gonna kick your ass, sir.’” – bridgetc40507d122
10.“While the cashier was ringing up my feminine products at Target, my 5-year-old loudly proclaimed, ‘Ugh! I hate when you’re on your period and have to stick tampons up your butt!’” – Youngnj22
11.“When my kid was 10, he told a teacher at church to ‘go die in a hole’ after she got him out in dodgeball.” – skailyr
12.“My 3-year-old asked me VERY loudly while we were shopping, ‘Mommy, are you going to steal something?’” – jessicadavidh
13.“My niece asked, ‘Grandma, my other grandma is dead isn’t she?’ My mom/her grandma said, ‘Yes, honey…but…’ My niece cut her off and said with a laugh, ‘One down, one to go!’” – brigetcollinsp
14.“When I was 3 or 4, I was with my family at a really nice restaurant. My grandma decided to have the fish, so I promptly yelled, ‘Big mom-mom, last time you ate fish your butt exploded!’” – glorymikey
15.“I was picking my daughter up from a playdate at a friend’s house. The mom and I were having a pleasant conversation until my 6-year-old daughter came up and proudly told her, ‘My mommy and daddy really like to dance naked in their room.’” – brittneec
16.“My 3-year-old son was pretending to be a bug earlier in the day, so he was wearing a pipe cleaner headband while we were at the grocery store. He said it made him look like a rhinoceros and ran up to a little old lady, pointed at his head and yelled, ‘I’m horny!’” – tanisf3
*This feature first appeared here